In this moment I don't remember any other way. Speaking my truth. Not knowing my next move. Not knowing. Period. When I voice this, this creates discomfort in my surroundings. "I don't know." Is simply not good enough for some. For me... its my truth. The discomforting feeling of not knowing. OR is it an simple act of not have the courage yet to say what I am longing to say? hmm.
The reality is, I am awake. To myself. My eyes are clear and I am capable of seeing through the bullshit. So what I am seeing is stories about me, Judgements about me. People creeping my page. Anything... anything to give them justice to there discomforts. They feel compelled to text me and offer me more stories of what they think of me. "Selfish bitch.." "You hung up on me..." The list goes on. The difference this time is. I am standing up. Standing up and choosing in what to engage in. With extreme rooted and grounded knowing that I in my moment I am ME, In my entirety. See, I get to choose if there opinions of me define me. It use to. It made me small, and it played a great part in the role I played as victim. Not anymore. Im not willing to make others feel comfortable at he expense of my truth.
I will rise up. To each and every occasion for me. Call it what you want. I don't give a fuck.
Celebrate me or let me go! Why don't we all celebrate each-other? Lets try that on for a day. Instead of being mean. HMM thats an idea.
I will not stay still, I will go toward those who celebrate me. Im on my way. To celebrate other women willing to celebrate themselves as well.
My vision is fierce, authentic, playful and free! I will be propelling this forward at lighting speeds.
A beautiful friend, sent this too me today in all my discomforts today;
"Be thankful for every heartbreak, for they were planned. They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. Their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desparate and out of control that you have tot transform your life. And you do."
This is not a dress rehearsal. This is your life.