Its been nearly 3 weeks. Im entirely exhausted. Those words seem to come out of my mouth often lately. Listening to every story, every hearsay... grouping together with friends.
As I woke up this morning, made my son lunch and breakfast. Sent him on his way to school. He asked. "Why don't you put your new sim in you phone now mom?"
"I'm not ready." I said.
"I will wait until it's cancelled."
He didnt understand the logic in that statement. Clearly neither do I. Makes no sense to me. None of this buy out makes sense to me. If I hear, "It was a business decision one more time, I will seriously pull a Forrest Gump."
"What is a business decision?" That could mean so many things. Why not elaborate "Business decision?" I need to know why. I am sure others do to. What were the strategies you used to eliminate? Based on what criteria?
Clearly not from performance. Because I was a top performer. My corporate label is Sales.
Was it because when I was at Bell from 2008 to 2014 I had to take 2 years off because of the murder of my father? Am I flagged as a flight risk because of this? Is Mental health flagged as a risk? These are things, I believe employees should know. This is information that should not be held back. So they are able to make informed decisions for themselves.
So, you see im not in a place, or space right now of "poor me, or why not me?" Im in a space of how the fuck can corporations keep moving forward with no explanations to the people who are leaving. As they go home to their families, and wonder... if it was truly them? If they could of done better? After all we were told we were all moving on...? (Scratching my head).
The lines of communications need to open up. After all Corporations are run by humans are they not? Now, are those humans at the top so insensitive and ego struck or so fear based of saving there own ass that they have lost all of their human soul for the need of money and life style?
So, here I sit in wonder. Crying on my yoga mat . Staring at my new number, my shitty package, and my moving forward pamphlet. My dogs can only listen to me for so long. What next? I will choose my path. With Integrity. I clearly know.
You see Worldlynx had a culture like no other. Seriously. To build that up... Make us the best we can be - then be a number or a package in a matter of weeks. Because we were bought by a corporation. Makes my heart hurt. But its a business decision. I need to suck it up. (shaking my head, pinching myself, am I not human?) I have too much heart. I believe a business can be run with heart and feelings.
My only suggestion to me is create these groups for me. Because no one can pull my own rug from out under me but me. Let's Talk. Let's Create.
We created women's groups, book clubs for women. There were Yoga nights on certain evenings. We were given flexibility which has proven success in our employees. Work at home days every week. We won best places to work for women. We won best place to work twice.
But the relationships. As much as I could do my job with my eyes closed and be awesome at it. Its the relationships. The dreams we shared with each other. The conversations, the parties, the tears, the space, the long walks. The confusion at times, the laughter, milestones, our friendly Dinosaur... when times were tense.. (Thank you Adam,) And of course hearing our reps sing Sweet Caroline mid day - out of no where. Kept the atmosphere open, and human.
As much as I complained about the corporate world - Worldlynx was definitely the craziest and most memorable. It was and still is a milestone for me. It woke me up to so many aspects of my life.
Someone asked me as I was leaving the parking lot. "Did you not ask for this?" I said yes, but not like this....Another lesson learned. It's my time to move on.
Bell, all I can say is these are great people treat them with kindness. Perhaps your next "Bell Lets Talk" campaign could be a series of short video clips of what your employees have to say?
As for me. I can figure out what I want to be when I grow up once and for all. Pull up my big girl panties and go get what I was born to do. So thank you.
Be gentle with yourselves friends, and always honour your soul. speak up, and love.
Nancy, get your camera ready im on my way to Ottawa!